My Son

Some recent photographs of my beautiful little human.

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Self Portraits & A Song To Chew On

I spent the afternoon visiting with my Mimi today. We sit in her kitchen at the wooden table and feel the woodstove fire and talk about all of the things on our minds. Today the clouds were dramatic and dark, angry and fierce, and the rain couldn’t decide if it wanted to stay or not.

We drank coffee from the old tea cups and waxed poetic about nothing in particular. Mimi drew mindlessly on a piece of paper as we talked and I watched her old, tough hands as she drew.

After the visit, I headed to the only place I would go after visiting Mimi. The ocean was steel and cold looking, with no white caps but turbulent water nonetheless. My initial project, at least in my mind, was to capture “quintessential Maine.” The Cove is a wild place, though, and while it is the dearest place to my heart, I couldn’t envision it being “quintessential Maine.” In fact, I associate it with wild and freedom and brazen and courage and heart and anger and frustration and love and beauty and unfathomable feelings.

So, instead, I took some photos of how I feel about the place.

While sorting through these photos, I listened to Nick Drake’s album, “Five Leaves Left.” Here’s a link to my favorite Nick Drake song.

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Directions

If you know me in the slightest, then you know I’m a Renaissance lady; I live and run a small sheep farm, I’m a professional photographer, I love to hike and rock climb, I dabble in surfing, I’m a writer, I’m an avid yoga practitioner, I work full-time at a high school, I teach photography and chemistry classes… I love to do it all.

My biggest challenge is finding the balance. I’ve realized recently that my goals are not quite set. Not only this, but I’ve spread myself so thin with everything I have going on that I can’t quite do it all properly. It’s a really hard truth to face, but I’ve come to the conclusion on my own that I just have way, way too much happening in my life.

And the thing is, I love doing things the right way. I have an insatiable thirst for adventure and travel, and I have career goals that I want to meet. And so, I’ve set forth some short and long-term goals, and I’m going to be paring down significantly on my workload.

Here are my goals. They are well thought out and they are definitively good goals.

1. Reduce the amount of responsibilities I have overall.

2. Focus my career on photography singularly.

3. Only have Crow and Maisie (One horse, one sheep) on the farm.

4. Pay down as much debt as possible, create a legitimate savings account.

5. Travel. Travel. Travel.

Reducing the farm is difficult. I’ve spent a long time building it up. I love my sheep, I love Scottish Blackface sheep in particular. I’m very attached to the chickens, I like not buying eggs. I love the beauty of the sheep in the pasture, the sound of tiny lambs in the spring. But, it is the right decision. Right now, we don’t have the time to do it properly. I don’t have the finances right now to travel and have a savings account and a farm.

And so, we are selling our sheep. All except Maisie and perhaps her daughter, only because Maisie is so old.

Photography is exploding. I want to keep it this way. My wedding season starts in two weeks. I have a lot of equipment I need to buy, marketing to do, and it takes significant time to do this all properly. I want to do it properly. I want to travel for photography, I want to expand my clientele.

We’re in the perfect situation to start paying down debt, as long as we eliminate the excess expenses. By eliminating the sheep expenses, from feed to fencing to veterinarian visits, and by freeing up time to be able to explore opportunities, we can start paying down some of the excess debt we have.

Travel. Travel! I want to go back to France. I want to go to Tibet, Nepal, to visit my friend in Australia, I want to see Ireland when I’m not pregnant, explore the Scottish highlands, to see as much as we can before we’re too old to do it.

William is getting older, more independent and more able to travel. Jackson is ill, and it is a tragedy but we are losing him soon. Our commitments are dwindling and that results in some financial stability and my ability to focus on photography and exploration. As hard as it is, there are some new directions in our futures.

Namasté, all.

Morning

It was five thirty when I woke up this dark, quiet, Sunday morning. To my left was the Midge, fast asleep under the down comforter. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel his warm little body clutching his Eeyore and breathing softly.

I stole out to the kitchen and warmed up the woodstove as the kettle began to heat up. In my sweats and wool socks and cardigan I am now sitting next to the stove, sipping my tea, listening to music from ages ago, and editing photographs of a very in love couple from a shoot I did yesterday on the coast.

It was snowing, a storm, here yesterday. I solicited a couple whom I have known for many, many years to meet me at the beach so I could photograph them in the swirling snowy madness. The photographs came out beautifully, and so they are a joy to edit.

Sitting here listening to the woodstove burn and my fiddle music makes me incredibly content. It is so quiet here, the only noises being made are from me. These moments are precious and few. I miss them, they happen so rarely these days.

Here are a few of my favorites from yesterday’s shoot:Bear6 Bear5 Bear4 Bear3 Bear1