Inspired But Motivation Is Elusive

I’ve had the inspiration to write recently. I just find that I am lacking the motivation to do so. I could be making great strides on my book or I could be writing fantastical posts for you to read, but this week I just haven’t had the gumption to put words down on paper, so to speak.

I’ve been realizing that I haven’t been able to climb at all this year, and I only hiked a few times. Luckily, I did get William out hiking a couple of times so that is saying something. It just seems like this year flew by so quickly, and now we are headed into the muted days of autumn and early winter.

There aren’t too many projects that are burning to be completed at home right now, although I know there are at least a dozen low-priority tasks that could be done. I’m working very hard to get my photography business up and running, and it seems to be working very well at this point.

I need to exercise more.

I feel tired because the days are getting so short and because my brain is always working on overdrive: How can I get more clients? How can I do better? How do we make all of the ends meet? How do we make it all happen?

Sometimes it’s healthy to turn one’s brain off, I just seem completely incapable of doing so. The only time I can clear my brain is when I switch it over to my yoga practice, which I certainly do not do frequently enough.

It was a highly emotional week last week; not only did I end up not getting the horse we had so excitedly been planning for, but I also had to go deal with Family Matters court to nail down our parental rights agreement for the second time in five years. It is so draining and awful; there is no such thing as “winning” when it comes to parental rights. It just seems like a big conglomerate of bad energy, even if all you’re doing is trying to do the best for your child. I think last week plus the snow has taken a toll.

Oh, the snow. It snowed last night.

I think part of my funk might be that I haven’t been to the Cove since early September. I used to go every week. My spirit feels dry, and maybe that is part of it. I need a lonely, cold, dreary walk on the beach to lift up my inner Muse and get myself back into my spiritual alignment.

I want to dance more often, I want to play the cello more often, I want to do more art, write more. I think it’s about time I stopped talking about it and started doing it.

Off to yoga myself into a happy stupor. Yoga, tea, poetry, bed.

Pip pip, all.



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