On Hair and What I Used to Look Like

I have been changing my hair color since I was 14. There was a point long, long ago where I knew my natural color (It was a beautiful, naturally highlighted blonde) but now that I have aged and my hair color has too, I’m not completely sure what my natural color is.

I do know there are a lot of gray hairs in there, that’s for sure.

In high school I had blonde hair, purple hair, brown hair, nearly black hair, and (mainly) red hair. I looked nice as a redhead. But I continually added drug-store hair dyes to my gorgeous hair, and when I was in my early 20’s I realized I had basically bleached, chemicaled, and stripped the life out of my hair.

I have been a pretty stunning bright blonde for a couple of years. I bleached my hair to match my son’s because I look so young, people would ask my mother if William was her son. No one asked after I matched my hair to his, but I also didn’t take terrific care of my hair, so it became very brittle and unhealthy.

In a fit of joy eight months ago, I chopped my extremely long (low-back), extremely blonde, very pretty hair and dyed it plain ol’ brown so that I might be able to salvage some of the healthy hair. My Ego was devastated; I missed my hair! However, it was really the only way.

Until now, the brown’s been just fine. It seems like it’s my natural color, my roots hardly show at all between colorings. My significant other likes it this way.

In the past two months my aunt (who is a tremendously talented cosmetics and hair styling professional) has been slowly bringing me back to healthy – and blonde! – hair. It’s a slow process.

I look at pictures of me a year and a half, two, three years ago and I look so different. My face was leaner. My arms were more toned. I was running every day. My hair looked nice. My face was less red, more tan. I looked healthier.

This probably sounds really superficial, but it isn’t. It’s about confidence. When I chopped my hair and colored it, I was also spiraling into a fit of not eating properly, I was feeling blue at the time, and I completely stopped exercising.

As I’ve begun bringing my hair back to blonde, I’ve felt more like I should be doing way more to feel better. I need to eat better. Healthier. More nutritious. Less out of boredom. I really need to exercise! Like, every day for forty minutes or more. I used to do these things.

I think this is part of getting older, but I refuse to accept that a 25 year old is doomed to puffy cheeks, round arms, and gross hair. I just refuse to believe it.

So, I’m working on it. Slowly but surely. Hair takes time to grow, so do habits. I need to reform healthy habits.

Repeat after me.

I need to reform healthy habits.

And breathe in.




Time to get going.


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